Sometimes I am really stupid, like, really really stupid. Like, if I were a little more hairy I would be placed in the zoo as a monkey. I'll give a few examples to enlighten you all. One time I thought listening to my sister tell me to jump downstairs from the top of the staircase was smart, but that was before I broke my foot from the fall. Or another time I thought cutting my hair was a good idea, actually that took me four times to finally realize it was not the greatest thing ever. Oh, and one of my favorites is when I thought running backwards on asphalt was okay (haven't recovered from that one yet). Last night I had one of these smart moments when I decided to eat an apple. OH NO, NOT THE APPLE!!!!!!!! You see, the problem is I'm allergic to apples, well actually all raw fruits and vegetables, so obviously this was a bad decision, but I wanted to see if my allergy shots worked. Long story short, they didn't. I spent the rest of the night rolling on the ground eating the ice cream my brother gave to me out of pity because I was crying out that my lips were swelling and my throat was itchy.

After a hair-cutting episode

 

Haha, who is that pathetic girl who is all alone on her bed under her blankets in the corner of
room watching "Sabrina the Teenage Witch"? It's so depressing seeing a loser like that... Oh wait, that's me. What am I doing with my life? I'm 18 years old and it's snowing but I'm spending all my time watching a show about a adolescent witch who can't seem to get her stupid magic in order. What makes it worse is that I squealed under my blanket like a tiny piglet nestled in hay when I saw that there are 163 episodes I can watch for free. To think, I thought I had problems before...

Oh, and Sabrina and Harvey should totally get together, just saying.

This is for those who have wondered what a day in the life of Alison is like on a Saturday.

4:30 am: Dog starts crying
4:35 am: Alison wonders why she has a dog and ignores it
7:00 am: Dog cries
7:01 am: Alison takes dog outside, falls asleep on couch
9:00 am: Good time to get up
9:10 am: Decides she wants pancakes for breakfast
10:00 am: Still hasn't made pancakes, decides she should just skip breakfast and wait for lunch
10:05 am: Wanders aimlessly around the house
10:45 am: Still wandering
11:00 am: Regrets decision to skip breakfast, turns on TV
12:00 pm: LUNCH TIME!!!!! eats everything in sight
12:01 pm: Starts singing about food while searching the internet
12:20 pm: Ate too much, watches more TV.
!2:34 pm: Somehow winds up on the kitchen floor, stays there
1:00 pm: Art project idea, pulls out everything
1:30pm: Gets distracted, leaves everything on kitchen counter
2:00 pm: Realizes the time, decides that the day is up so she better not start anything
2:15 pm: Wants to go to the store
2:20 pm: Remembers people are at the store, pops popcorn instead
2:30 pm: Starts yelling about what ever comes to mind
2:45 pm: Makes weird animal noises
3:00 pm: Finds victims in the house to annoy
4:00 pm: Throws a mini dance party for the success of annoying others
4:15 pm: Watches more TV
5:30 pm: Questions what day it is and also what is for dinner
5:31 pm: Gets answers, return to TV
6:00 pm: Dinner time, asks what is happening
6:30 pm: Sneaks away from chores
6:45 pm: Parents looking for her but she is hiding
6:46 pm: Dog is a snitch and the gig is up
7:00 pm: After singing the chores are finally done.
7:15 pm: Watches movie with little brother while eating ice cream
9:00 pm: Heads to bed
9:01 pm: Too much thinking, not enough sleeping
11:00 pm: Finally asleep
11:10 pm: Dog starts crying, it's going to be a long night

Who wants a cookie? Yesterday I did, but that all changed when the fire nation attacked. Let me tell you a story about the girl and the cookie dough.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Alison who wanted cookies but had to go to the store. Instead of making homemade cookies like she normally does, she decided to buy pre-made cookie dough. "Brilliant," she thought "Now I don't have to make a mess making the cookie dough but I will still get the same great taste." So she bought the goods, went home and decided she was going to be lazy and make the cookies the next day. The sun rose on the next morning and Alison leaped out of bed to start the oven. She popped the tiny, pre-scooped pieces of dough into the oven and waited. Voila, out come the cookies looking like little dirt cakes. What did Alison do wrong? Still being hopeful, she tried one and found it to be less than satisfactory. The cookie was missing something, something called love. In the end Alison cried due to lack of love and watched "Lilo and Stitch". The end.

Moral of the Story: Make homemade cookies, there is a difference. Also you can save money. Cookies + money = happiness

Let's talk about George Lucas. George Lucas was the proud father of the movie series "Star Wars". These movies were cut-edge and magnificent, but not any more. Though personally I am an avid fan of  the original "Star Wars" I am sickened by the fact that George Lucas has sold his soul to Disney. I love Disney and I love "Star Wars" but not together because that is like mixing meat and ice cream. I love meat, and I love ice cream, and actually if you want to be my best friend just buy me some ice cream and watch a movie with me, but the point is that they don't go. To top it off with sprinkles (because we were talking about ice cream) they are now making an episode VII *sigh*. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun and the movie will turn out great but, unfortunately, "Star Wars" has already started becoming a joke. Dang it, now I want ice cream.

If you saw me at a party, you might want to hang with me, but then again, maybe you wouldn't. I don't even think this situation is possible, saying that I never go to parties, or even leave my house for that matter. In fact, my favorite Friday night activity is staying home to watch a movie while eating ice cream. I guess the setting for the party could be at my house... Nah, I would hide some place with my dog. Crap, am I really that boring? I think I have reached a level of introvertness that no one should ever reach. I would call for help but that would require using a phone and talking to someone. This is a warning for introverts everywhere: Save yourselves before it is too late! I'm in too deep, but there is a chance for you.

The most exciting thing happened yesterday, I got a block of wood and a new toilet lid.

 Now when I go to the bathroom I won't constantly feel the need to sing "Living on a Prayer" because the toilet seat isn't attached. Also, I have been wanting to get a block of wood for over eight years. You could say I have low expectations, but at least my taste in men is good.

 

CHOO CHOO! ALL ABOARD! Today I'm going to rant about my favorite animal: the goat. The goat is a majestic creature with it's long beard, curved horns and blank eyes. The sound of it's mighty bleat sends shivers down the spine of all things living. It truly is the greatest animal that has ever walked the earth. The best part about it is it's sub-group called the Myotonic goat, aka the fainting goat. When frighten the goat locks up and falls over, and you know why they do this? Because we trained them to, that's why! Back when shepherd and sheep were as one, the shepherd would bring along some fainting goats so that if a wolf came it would eat the goat rather than the sheep. Fun, right? Too bad the Myotonic goat has now been degraded as just a silly animal that passes out when someone opens an umbrella, yells loudly, or brings them food. So this is a shout out to all those goats out there: BBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Today I was wondering why in the world I have a blog which lead me to the important question of "What is a blog?" According to google a blog is:

"a personal website or web page on which an individual records opinions, links to other sites, etc. on a regular basis." Do you know what that means? This blog is about to get crazy like the beat dropping in dubstep WUUUUUUBBBBB DDAAAAAA WEEEPPPPPPP ABABABAB. So fasten your seatbelts and hold on tight because you are about to take a trip to The Mind of Alison.

 

Okay, okay I feel kinda bad for trying to jump into this whole thing without you really getting prepared so the crazy bus is being delayed for tomorrow. *somewhere someone sighs*

 

I think people should cry more. Now, before you go and think "Whoa Alison is messed up," I want to clarify. The type of crying that I am talking about is the crying that happens because you are laughing so hard. Everyone has done it at one point in their lives. It is one of the best feelings, knowing you are so happy or amused by something that you break down in tears.

I think my first ever post on my first ever blog should revolve around what this blog is really about. The quote I have decided to live by and blog by is "Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death (Auntie Mame)." Did you guys realize that I citied the movie properly? Thank you English III. But seriously people, you got a chance to live, take it for what it is worth. Let me paint a scene for you: You are at a table covered with food, all the food you could imagine, and sitting in front of you is a giant turkey, but wait, you hate the taste of turkey. Your choices are to either cry that someone put a turkey on the table or look to the side and see a hunk of ham. Life is like this, unless you are a vegetarian or vegan in which case the food that I have mentioned turns into rice and couscous, because there will always be things we don't like and things we do and it is up to us to decide if we feast or starve. Just some food for thought (haha I made a funny).