Please, please, please don't judge me too hard. My goal in life is to make people laugh, so if you laugh at this video then I have been successful. If you don't laugh then I might as well take up residency of the underside of a rock.

"If you can't laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?" 

-Alison Forsberg (trying to tell herself that being crazy isn't wrong)

I've been told that I'm never going to be able to date anyone after this video, but I think the boys will be lining up for miles. We'll see...

A picture from my senior trip that I am not ashamed of because it makes you feel good because you know from now on all pictures of you will look better than this. Your welcome.

I'm so embarresed

STORY TIME!!!!!! The following is based on a true event.

3 Hour Tour

This Monday morning started as any other with Dad reading the newspaper and Mom making breakfast, except they never do that which is what made it like any other. Family was staying over and the house was packed, but everyone continued forth in good spirits. I woke up with a pain in my ear that could only be caused by an ear infection leaving me with no other choice than to announce my inability to go on the boat ride with the rest of the family. Mom and I dropped the others off  at the harbor and pooted off to Urgent Care. Moments following our departure we received a call that the boat broke down. Let me explain:

The night before the men said "We, the manly men, know how to drive the boat but still have to go to boat training. We shall go to this training so you, the women plus Robert (brother 3), can come later with the food, water and sunblock."

So the guys (Dad, David (brother 1), Danny (brother-in-law), and Dylan (nephew 1) were already in the boat and were stranded in the middle of the lake with no food, water nor sunblock.... It took about two hours before they were rescued and bestowed with a new boat making it so they could again head towards the harbor. Mother, wanting the house to herself and not caring about my pain, said that I had to go on the boat  for some "family bonding" time. I reminded her of my statements the night before, how our adventure would turn into a Gilligan's Island experience and how the men already experienced difficulties, but she insisted. 

With my swimsuit on I got in the car and drove with the rest of the family to the dock where we met the slightly more red men. We got on the boat and sailed away into one of the biggest nightmares one could ever face. The water was peaceful, and the sun was shining bright, encouraging everyone to go swimming except for Dad and me. There was laughter as people idly paddled in the water. Once satisfied the tubing began, starting with young Collin (nephew 2).  Joy was felt throughout the boat as everyone took a turn, that is, until a dark, ominous cloud appeared, covering the once bright sun. The wind picked up and the temperature dropped. Lightening was spotted in the distance and concerned looks were exchanged.

"What do we do?" the manly men turned to my father, only to receive a shrug of the shoulders. Panic started to set in, when suddenly another boat next to a small, tree filled island (so small that it would take only 10 steps to walk the whole thing). Figuring the other boaters knew what they were doing, we set anchor and waited, and waited, and waited. Twenty minutes had passed but there was still no rain. Ten more minutes passed and the other, much faster, boat pulled up their anchor and sped away, leaving us alone and frightened. A large gust of wind sent fluffs from the trees flying into our boat, an almost beautiful sight. "Look at all the bugs." our nephews said, pointing at the cloud of fluff. "Those aren't bugs," we all responded, "it's just some..... BUGS!!!!!!" Bugs were everywhere, our eyes, our mouths and our noses. Some began the bug dance, while others tried covering their faces with towels and ducked. Thus began our three hour tour.

"This can't get any worse." Niki (sister 1) said, receiving dirty looks and scowls from the others, due to her being able to jinx any situation. True to her cursed powers, rain began dumping from the skies. Normally, North Carolina receives warm, heavy rain, but this was cold, never ending rain. Under a unhelpful tarp, the young couple (Robert and Ember (sister-in-law) covered and protected the innocent nephews while David held on to Phyli (future sister-in-law). Stephen (brother 4), in the wide open, sat calmly, hidden under his towel with a juice box, while Niki and Danny sat wishing they never came. The anchor never caught and we kept drifting away from the island forcing David and Danny to keep moving us back. In light of things, I, with the begrudging help of Stephen, tried reenacting the scene from the Titanic, only to have me slip and almost go over board. into the churning waters of death itself.

Let me speed this up, fast forward. It kept raining, it was cold and everyone was miserable. Finally the sun came out but nothing was dry for another hour. The tubing continued and nobody got hurt, but my ear infection did get worse. Realistically, the storm wasn't even a strong one but considering we were in the middle of a large body of water it was slightly nerve-racking.

The End

P.S. Mom- I'm still mad at you.   

What it felt like

I was abandoned, left for dead. The realization of my situation finally settled in as I attempted to remain balanced on the crooked chair. Crying, shouting, begging, I tried it all with no avail, I was alone. It was in this time of need that I remembered the old fable my mother told me as a child at night to help me sleep. It was about a hero who rescued poor souls in the pit of despair if he were to be called upon properly. I never believed the tale, but I was desperate, leaving me with no other choice other than to raise my hands to my mouth and shout "STEPHEN!" There was no sign of help for a few seconds, but then thunder began rumble, and down the stairs came no one other than the mighty Stephen! "What seems to be the problem?" he asked with cool confidence. I trembled as I pointed to the foulest, most terrifying creature to ever walk the earth. With a mighty blow from his red hammer the beast was killed and I was saved. As I watched the mighty Stephen walk away, I knew I was safe.

True Story: I was sitting on the couch and saw a spider. My little brother, Stephen, killed it with a red croc after first going through a self-motivating speech.

It's the little black dot next to the chair where the tile ends

Oh, and p.s., A Good Celebrity page is going down just like that spider did when it was faced against a croc.

"Hey, Alison, what has happened to you this last month?" Well, I'm glad you asked random citizen, because a lot has happened in the last month. But I'm not going to tell you about it! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! 

Unfortunately, my mother has informed me that my blog started to follow a pattern of ranting and complaining, and she didn't like that so I had to stop. Guess what Mom? I'M 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!! Just kidding, please don't beat me for my defiance, I am just going through a phase. 

Now that that is settled (I just used two "thats" in a row) let me bring some sunlight into your guys' mind. Urggggg, I am having a hard time focusing because Ursula keeps shaking and it throws me off. I mean, come on Ursula, calm down. Does she realise she is an off-the-rocker villian who tries to marry a guy half her age with the use of a stolen ginger voice? Actually, Ursula has always kinda reminded me of my mother. I don't know if it is the wicked cackle or just the fact that my mummy's favorite Disney song is "Poor Unfortunate Souls." 

The Disney villain I admire the most ties between "Long Live the King" Scar

and "Savages" Governor Ratcliffe

Let me explain before you go and judge me for supporting the lion who killed off Mufasa and the guy who attempted to blow off the Native Americans off the map. These guys almost won. They planned out their attacks in advanced, made difficult situations work for their benefit, and were masters at psychological warfare. Plus they both have fabulous hair and voices. Let's be realistic, everyone likes the villain with a mane, just look at Loki, though Governor Ratcliffe does kinda look like a rat with dreads. Ehhhhhhhhh. Eheheheheh. Haha I made a Loki/Tom joke that will probably just go right over half of the heads that read this because the have lives and don't live on the internet.

I'm going to stop myself now but you know what they say,

I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!!!!!!

You see this man? Yes, this man right here.

Remember him? No, well that is probably because you remember him as this guy.

 

 

Yup, it's William Christopher, or Father Francis Mulcahy from M*A*S*H. I have to say that Father Mulcahy is one of my favorite characters from the show, but that isn't why I am bringing him up today. People often talk about how there aren't any good actors, how they are all egotistical or rather disgusting. This makes me mad. There are many actors who have the sweetest hearts, but we look over them because they aren't doing crazy schemes to catch our attention, just like William Christopher. William Christopher has two son, one being autistic. During his 15 minutes of fame he spoke about his son's disabilities making him the first celebrity ever to do so (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaYTAZlpXjo). Not only has he created awareness of autism, but he, with his wife, also wrote a book called "Mixed Blessings" which points out the pain and joy of having a special needs child. He has continued acting but mainly has devoted his time to the National Autistic Society. 

 

I am finally releasing my new page, drumroll please. *Stupid noise emitting from mouth* And the new page is... A Good Celebrity!

 

I think actors who do good should not be overlooked because they don't twerk or get caught cheating. Also, now by having this list, hopefully you all will become more aware of the great films that are out there that are great for everyone to watch. Let's flood the world with positive influences.

 

If you have any suggestions of actors/actresses I should add, feel free to contact me.

 

 



Wow, I really am doing well at keeping up with my blog now. Oh, but wait, it's a video entry. I start falling apart towards the end because it was late and I'm more of a morning person. <--- Not an apology, just fact

I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so very sorry that I haven't been posting as frequently as I traditionally have. I could come up with the masterful excuse like "I have a life now, job included," but alas, that would be a lie, just if if you tried to tell me that you read all those "so's." The real reason I haven't been posting is because I've been asleep. Yup, everyday for the last week and a half I have come home, plopped on the couch, and have dreamt away the afternoon till it's time for dinner/bed. But so now that I have cleared my good name, and have restored honor to the Forsberg family, I am now going to inform you on only one of the biggest things that is in my current life:

College

Yes, I did just make the word college small just because that is what it makes me feel like. College is like a money-sucking leech that most everyone goes through. Don't get me wrong, I love the college I'm going to go to, it's like a tiny community of weird mormons who will like me GO KNIGHTS, but I am terrified out of my mind. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm broker than my skull in 6th grade. This has been so much of a stresser, that I taken up to screaming in the car when I am driving to relieve some of the pressure, and if that doesn't help my kitchen floor and I have a close-and-personal talk (I just lay on the floor until I feel better)

Listen to me now, while I have your attention. SAVE YOUR MONEY!!!! Even if it is just a penny a day, when that one day comes that you need it you will at least have like 36 cents. Spread the news, make this global. MONEY CONTROLS OUR LIVES AND IT ISN'T EVEN REAL! Think about it, a dollar bill is just a federal note, basically an IOU, and the money we circulate around online are just some numbers on the screen, yet we let it control us. We don't even use gold to back up our money anymore. WHY? I don't know, all I know is I need a job to fulfill an imaginary bill with my fake money. Wow I kinda really deviated off my original topic of college. Oh well, I feel better now. Guess I can cross smashing a car with an overpriced tripod off my list of things to do today.

Before I go and pretend to be a calm and collected young adult, I just want to warn everybody that I have a big project coming out soon, a project so big that people will hear about it and flock to me while chanting things like: "I love you Alison!", "You're my hero!", "Ross McCall wants to meet you!", "I wish your father and I treated you like our favorite child like you deserved because you always were, oh and dinner is at 6!"