My Life as a Dancer

When people ask if I am human or if I am dancer I proudly exclaim "Neither!" All joking aside, I have done some soul-searching this semester and have come to the conclusion that I am, indeed, not a dancer. Here's why:

What I should look like

I am currently in a social dance class where we have learned the Fox Trot, Swing, the Cha-Cha, and Waltz. I knew before I even started the class that it was going to be a bad idea. I had watched the class previous to mine and did not like it one bit. What they were doing was having the guys holding both of the girls hands and leading the girls around, eyes-closed, wherever they wanted to take them. Later, my teacher called it "tone." 

I decided to be brave and actually try the class, but I had misplaced bravery, so much so that it was to the point of stupidity. Within the first two weeks, one of the T.A.s told me that "if [I] had more confidence I would be better at this." That is the sort of thing every girl wants to hear. So, I stepped up. Instead of approaching my next victim with apologizes, I followed the famous words of Lady Gaga and "just dance[d]," and it sucked!

When I say I can't dance, I don't mean I have two left feet, I mean that I have two left hands for feet. Don't try arguing, I have proof.

In class, this last week, I was the first girl to get asked to dance (by miracle, no doubt) and we did the Fox Trot (which is my worse dance). I was dancing with a really sweet guy, but I could tell he was getting annoyed. I apologized profusely saying "I'm sorry, I can't dance," to which he responded by patting my back "That's why I'm here." Like I said, sweet guy. That is, until the next class. After that all went down and it was time to pick a dance partner, this girl and I were the last ones left and he looked right at me but picked the other girl. Okkkkkaaaaayyyy. Later, during rotations, I was paired to dance with him. Once again I apologized with a "you must hate me, or at least dancing with me," and he had the nerve of saying "No I don't hate you. If anything, you let me know I need a better leader." Okay, maybe he wasn't being that mean when he said it, but it still hurt. 

On to the next bit of evidence. During rotations I got with this guy who is amazing at dance, but first the teacher was going to teach us "sass." They first told all the girls to whip their hair to be sexy, but since I have no hair I rustled my hair in the sexiest way possible for me, which means I looked like I had lice. Back to the dude, so right when we were supposed to dance with each other, he went to the bathroom, for the whole dance time. Okkkkaaayyyy. It was rotation time again and this time I was going to dance with a guy I think is pretty cool. The bathroom guy said "Ha, maybe I should dance with her." and the cool guy was like "You want to?" and bathroom guy went "No you can." and cool guy ran over to the next girl and was like "You can have her.,"

THEY LITERALLY FOUGHT WHO COULD NOT DANCE WITH ME! 

So that is my dance class. Pretty brutal, but then again I am pretty sensitive. Moral of the story: if you get a gut feeling that you shouldn't take a dance class, you probably should take it anyway because it makes for a good story later.