Ray's Splash Planet Adventure

During summer last year, my family took a trip to the grand ol' Ray's Splash Planet which is a indoor water park where there are children's tears and urine instead of water. Normally, this wouldn't be an adventure my family would take, but there were three babies and one toddler in our pack at the time, and Gammy J thought it would be fun to do, so we went.

Me, at Ray's Splash Planet

The kiddos were splashing, and the adults were even having fun while taking turns watching the kiddos and riding down the slide. Person after person went down the slide, all going down the same way, pencil-style. Now, I am a master of jumping in the pool pencil-style so how hard would it be to go down a slide the same way? Apparently, a lot harder than I expected.

Following my sister-in-law, I climbed the stairs, only to be told to step back because I was too close to the slide. I listened to the instructions, but then it was my turn and I received no instructions on how to go down. I laid down on the slide and off I went, pencil-style of course. I was splashing and swishing and almost spun over to my stomach, but then I hit the bottom. No, like literally, hit the bottom. Splat, blood, lost toenail, the whole shabang. I'll spare you all the details, but basically I ripped off all my little toes' toenails. I hobbled out of the pool and went to my mother who was guarding our stuff. It was not a fun moment. My sister in-law asked if I wanted help, but I said "no" because I am a strong, independent woman who don't need no lifeguard, but that is before I met him.

My mom, not talking no for an answer, called over Hottie McHottiepants. He was a beautiful man with a heart of gold. He got me a bandage and later came over to check on me.

And that's all that happened. The clouds didn't part, the stars didn't align, I just passed ships with Hottie McHottiepants.