Why Cows Jump Over the Moon

As many people know, cows jump over the moon. The are many depictions of this occurrence in paintings, stories and television. Children are even taught this principle from a young age.  The problem that lies in the event that leave people puzzled.

Why do cows jump over the moon?

After years of studying and pouring over all texts available , even dating back to the 1940's, I have come across the answer. An answer so astounding that I could hardly believe it.

Cows jump over the moon because they are running away from werewolves.

Voila! People have failed to realize the moon is always full when the cows go jumping, and that werewolves only come out at that same full moon. This tradition had a harmless beginning that turned dark quickly. It started when country teen wolves began cow tipping. Cow tipping was a fun, easy way to spend the night when there were little amounts of people to terrorize. Parent werewolves would become concerned for their young and would go out hunting for the children. Upon finding the young werewolves simply cow tipping, the parents would become furious in the waste of the night so in the heat of the moment a cow would be eaten. Soon, werewolves developed a taste for beef and would start the night of killing in the fields. Over the years of dying, cow have developed the instinct to jump, avoiding the tipping and the eating.