I guess in order to explain myself I should start with another fact: I have never been a princess. This fact may seem obvious and even somewhat ridiculous, but it is true. Yes, I have been a princess twice for Halloween but that is not I am trying to say so I will clarify: I have never been a real princess.
I have a very loving father and a very loving mother, but they never treated me like a little dainty girl who deserved everything she wished. When I broke a rule, such as playing loudly at 10 o'clock at night on a weekday, a simple, unmeaning "I'm sorry" would not suffice and I would be thrown over a knee to get my spanking. I learned from a young age that doing a crime meant getting a punishment. I also learned that stamping my foot would not get me what I wanted. My parents were firm in what they would and wouldn't get me and I hated it as a child, but now as an adult I truly appreciate it.
Now I am going to touch on my unpopular opinion: Media does not decide what we should or shouldn't do, and it does not justify our actions.
Recently I have watched a Buzzfeed video entitled "Women React to Realistic Disney Princess Waistlines" (video below). I have seen these pictures before and believed my reactions to them would be expressed similarly, but I was wrong.
In my belief, yes, Disney could have given each princess a bigger waistline without destroying the any of the princess' beauty, but that it was not necessary due to the fact that it was a cartoon and people recognize they cannot look exactly like, or even similar to one.
To my dismay, all the women said that Disney has skewed their image of how a body should look. One woman even said that as a young child she wanted to remove one of her ribs to get the "princess look."
Right here, and right now, I am going to say something. If you or your child ever wants to get a rib removed for the sake of looking smaller please seek help. That is not normal or healthy. There is a woman who did that and she is known as the "Human Barbie." People are not extremely attracted to her because she doesn't look human, she looks like a doll. People often comment on how they are worried for her health and well-being.
I am not going to say that the women in the video are lying about their beliefs, but I am going to say it is a popular trend to bash the media and blame it for having any self-conscious feelings. It is also popular to use the media for unhealthy life choices, if it be exercising and starving or over eating. I know that when I was a child I was heavy, but not once wanted to have a waistline like a Disney princess. All I wanted was to be healthy.
Why did I have this point of view? I'll tell you what I think helped me have a strong foundation: My parents. As I said before, my parents did not treat me like a princess. They were never abusive, but they did not hide facts from me. When my mother and I would be in the check-out line at the grocery store and I saw the magazines, my mother would tell me we do not read those kinds of things, that they were hurtful and not always true. She would point out how the people were dressed and how I was not to dress like that because it would send the wrong impression to the world. At the same time, when I would go home to eat some freshly-bought goldfish, my mother would not be afraid to suggest eating not as many as I would have liked to.
My mom never stood for me bashing myself. When I would cry to her about how ugly I was, she would almost get mad and tell me not to talk that way. She would end the conversation by telling me all the ways I was pretty (personality and looks) and then remind me that she loved me. Usually these episodes didn't occur after watching television or seeing an ad, but was after I can home from school realizing all my friends were at healthy weights.
Looking back I do feel bad for myself to a small degree. I was a extremely overweight child, and am still a little overweight today, but I didn't realize at the time was it wasn't completely my fault. In recent years I have found out that I have many medical conditions that made losing, or even staying at a healthy weight, was out of my control. I have begun taking the medicine to help my body function properly and have lost 50 pounds within a year and still am losing lots more.
Overall the point I am trying to make is that media does not make who we are or what we are allowed to do. It is up to our parents to teach us what is right and what is wrong, and it is up to ourselves to continue those practices. Media will never get cleaner, so if you base your life on it then you are doing it to yourself.
Yes, when you dress in extremely short-shorts you are sending off an image.
Yes, it is your body and you can decide what to wear.
Yes, I should treat you kindly and properly despite what you wear.
No, you cannot change the impression you have made to me.
No, you cannot make me believe that somehow the media came to life and put those pants on you.
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